A. N. Steiner
New Leaves
by A. N. Steiner
Narai wakes from a coma to find the Earth destroyed, everyone she’d ever known gone. At least she has her health … permanently. Experimental nanobots have saved her life and given her a prosthetic immune system worth killing for.
Too bad the technology that healed Narai was destroyed along with the Earth. Now a sadistic doctor is determined to take her apart and find out what makes her tick. And when he’s done, a shady military organization wants to remake her into a mindless weapon.
Worst of all, Narai’s starting to have serious doubts about herself. How many inhuman abilities can you have before you stop being human? Then again, all the people in her new life have betrayed her and her only loyal friend has four legs and fur. Given the choice, does she even want to be human? Can she outsmart her pursuers long enough to find out?
New Leaves is space opera with a soul, a thrilling chase across galaxies combined with a desperate search for belonging.
Arielle: The second line of this pitch got me. It’s funny, interesting and a real twist on what we all say all the time. I find the entire pitch intriguing, until we get to the last two lines of the third paragraph. When you write, “does she even want to be human?” you give away that she isn’t. And “Can she outsmart her pursuers long enough to find out” feels generic to me, as does “a thrilling chase across galaxies combined with a desperate search for belonging.” I know you can be more original… because you are throughout the rest of the pitch!
David: This has the wonderful feeling of a Philip K Dick story. Where a human being has been altered against their will, and then has to pay the consequences. And the basic questions it asks about what makes us human seem very profound and philosophical, without being didactic because they’re presented in the context of this high-stakes story. And I love that her only loyal friend has four legs and fur. Space opera with soul. That’s great. It really leads me to believe that you are a writer. I don’t quite understand though how exactly her prosthetic immune system works. I’d like to know more about our villain. I don’t have enough details to really hate him yet. I guess I’d like to know a little bit more about our heroine’s hopes dreams and aspirations as well. I don’t think the title is quite as good as the story. But I really did enjoy this pitch very much.
March 6, 2012 @ 5:08 am
The brief description of the character has my interest. Looking forward for the full story.
March 6, 2012 @ 5:10 pm
I really like the pitch. I am most intrigued by the title, though. I’m not sure how it fits, but am anxious to see how it all ties together. I really enjoy the style of writing. I find it captivating and I am hoping to read more.
Good luck.
LaRay
March 6, 2012 @ 5:10 pm
Intriguing use of juxtaposition with Naria experiencing permanent health, while facing profound loss. How will she survive, and yet how can she not? This is a must read in my book. :o)
March 6, 2012 @ 10:21 pm
Prosthetic immune system; interesting; Worth looking into.
March 7, 2012 @ 7:57 am
Interesting storyline, looking forward to reading the entire book.
March 7, 2012 @ 9:09 am
An interesting story that I would like read.
March 7, 2012 @ 1:26 pm
Narai in a way is Phoenix, Nike, my daughter, granddaughter, and many of my students all in one person. I’ll devour the book.
March 7, 2012 @ 5:26 pm
I can see a bit of my daughter, son, husband, myself, many of my friends, and lots of my students in Narai – transplanted into a new world and filled with self-doubt, ever striving for acceptance and belonging, testing ourselves every step of the way. I can’t wait to hold this book in my hands.
March 8, 2012 @ 11:10 am
A very interesting storyline, looking forward to reading the book.
March 8, 2012 @ 7:38 pm
Narai suggests bits of Beowulf, women in the Arthurian Legends, and female spirits from Asian mythology roled into the future Sci-fi scenarios. Four legs and furry will be a fascinating side kick to the events and that will undoubtably lead through a forest of doubts, dreams, and visions of what a human can really be. I look forward to reading the book, Steiner.
March 8, 2012 @ 10:13 pm
Narai can’t stray too far into desperation with the loyalty of a four-legged furry friend, can she? Please find a way to publish A.N. Steiner’s thought-provoking story.
March 9, 2012 @ 7:41 am
Very cool and it sounds like a unique story. Best of luck and let me know when the book is published.
March 9, 2012 @ 8:16 am
An interesting idea for a story, I love the idea of the prosthetic immune system!
Looking forward to reading the full story, especially about this shady military organization. What is their motives for wanting to turn her into a weapon?
March 9, 2012 @ 10:21 am
I’ve read all of these pitches, and a lot of them have been pretty good, but this one really caught my attention. I guess they “saved the best for last.” The idea was very interesting. It’s something I would probably pick up off the shelves of a bookstore if I read the back, but I kind of agree about the title, it seems a little cliche…turning over a new leaf and all…otherwise, loved it!
March 9, 2012 @ 11:17 pm
And the bronze medal goes to… “New Leaves”.
[A.N.~ Seriously consider changing the title. The story deserves it. The current one sounds like a book in the “Historical Herbology” section… Your title needs to ring true with the sci-fi concept.]
March 13, 2012 @ 7:48 pm
I liked this pitch too. Space opera with a soul? Is that meant as something more than it sounds, like a comment on the main character’s humanity? I too am hooked by that second line, it feels so unique, it pulled me right in. I do feel that the pitch leans a bit heavily on cliched phrases; I can feel so much more than that under the surface of this story. “Shady military organization” and “sadistic doctor” just don’t do the story justice. And I would feel more connected to the character if I knew something of her new powers, got a sense of exactly what she’s going through. Great voice, can’t wait to see what this becomes!