Real Chemistry by Arjav Shah
Imagine you have the ability to control any element from the periodic table. This is the case for Oxy Ivankov, a fourteen-year old boy, who can control oxygen from the periodic table. He is an elemental user- one who can manipulate elements from the periodic table. Unfortunately, Oxy is targeted for murder by Hydro Parker who can control hydrogen as that is the only way Hydro can control oxygen and ergo water.
Now, Oxy and his friends Nick Courshier and Cal Lopner must thwart the numerous kidnapping attempts of Hydro’s children, Neo and Lea Parker who are elemental users. To make matters worse, Nick accidently murder an elemental user named Alu. Nick has to attend the next Periodic Table of Elements Council in Tempton.
Oxy manages to convince everyone that Nick is innocent only to later learn from his grandfather Iro that if Hydro can’t kill Oxy, he will set his sights on the Periodic Table of Book Elements. There are two parts to the Periodic Table of Elements Book and Oxy has to track down the other half of the book. Oxy needs to support of the council.
This leads Oxy and his friends on an early vacation to Europe to win the support of the individual Council members in addition to finding the other half of the book. Oxy discovers that the second part of the book is in the Bell Tower of the English Parliament. He obtains the book, but must obtain the support of the council.
The Book Doctors:
We’ve heard a lot of pitches, but we haven’t yet seen characters who can control the elements! Such a cool idea. But we’re not sure what cool things they’re doing exactly. You need to show us what our hero is able to accomplish because he can control oxygen. Also, there’s a pretty glaring mistake in your pitch. “Oxy needs to support of the council.” Agents and editors want to know that you’ve carefully scoured your work and little errors like this stand out. We also don’t quite see the arc of the characters’ journeys. We don’t get a sense of exactly what the villain wants. And the pitch doesn’t come to a fiery climax. One other industry thing: We were doing a panel recently with an agent who said how much she hates getting pitches that start with the author telling her to imagine something. It’s redundant. You’re writing a piece of fiction. Inherent in that is the fact that you’re asking us to imagine something. It’s just wasted words. You only have 250 words, so each one is golden. Arielle once said that a pitch is like a poem, each word counts.