The Movie of Her Dreams by Candice Watson
Jessica Bentley is a hero. Jessica Bentley is a slut. Jessica Bentley is crazy. Or, at least, that’s what the senior class at Crowe Academy would have you believe.
In reality, Jess wants to get out. After an ill-advised fling went wrong the year before, any goodwill that her peers might have had for her has gone out the window. Her position as president of the Film Club is constantly being undermined by her manipulative vice president, her lacrosse captain is trying to get her to quit, and her best boy friend-slash-epic crush wants nothing to do with her.
But there’s only so much wallowing that a girl can do, especially during her last year of high school. Jess is hell-bent on getting into film school, and in order to do that, she has to make The Movie of Her Dreams. To do that, she needs a little help from the friends that she still has, as well as the assistance of Matt, her best friend’s brother-slash-Crowe’s football star, who is far more intelligent and perceptive than Jess expected.
Making The Movie of Her Dreams and getting into film school is a long term escape, but what about the short term? Will Jess be able to put herself back together in eight months, or will she become more undone by the time senior year’s over?
The Book Doctors:
We really like the way this pitch begins. The unexpected juxtaposition of hero and slut. It convinces us from the very beginning that you are skilled and talented writer. We like that our heroine has a goal and quest, something she has to complete, with a clock ticking in the background. It’s a good plot, and you have a good writing style. And we like Jessica right away. We’d like to see her doing something nice for other people, so we’d go from liking her loving her. You’ve done a great job of having everything and everyone stacked against her, increasing difficulties on all sides. But we don’t think this pitch comes to a sufficient climax. Becoming more undone doesn’t feel climactic to us. We want to know the specifics of what’s going to go wrong if she fails. We’d like to understand more about where this relationship with Matt is going, for better or for worse.