The Fourth Arrow by Hazel Sparks
Welcome to Anguilire.
It’s a city tucked away in a valley in a sort of dark fantasy realm. It and its resident heroine-to-be are beacons of light in the ever-growing darkness descending on their world.
She’s an elf – Emilia – and a member of Anguilire’s guard, the Arrows. When the threat of invasion looms, they are called to action.
The invaders are nightmarish creatures. They are greedy and cruel, but worst of all blindly led by a king bent on burning the elves’ city to the ground. Now this enemy has acquired a power that will ensure his success if the Arrows fail.
To complicate things, Emilia has a secret that no one – not even her comrades – can know. It just might be the key to saving her people, if it doesn’t get her killed in the process.
The villain isn’t the only obstacle in her way (though he’s a nasty brute). The Arrows will be tested by monsters, the elements, and even each other.
This fresh twist on the classic forest-elves-fantasy combines a love story with a white-knuckle adventure that will push our heroes to their limits. The Fourth Arrow is also full of symbols that give the story true meaning between the lines.
I’m new. There’s no getting around that. I have a few short works being published, and I want this novel to be the next step. I believe in “making something that means something” and I’m ready to come out swinging.
The Book Doctors:
We love that the stakes are so high in the story, and it’s about a subject that people just love. But we don’t believe this pitch does your book justice. First of all, a lot of it is so generic that it loses its meaning. For example, “A sort of dark fantasy realm” doesn’t give us any sort of visual image. How is your fantasy realm different than the millions of other fantasy realms that have been created in the history of books and movies? How are your elves different from all the other elves that we seen? Telling us that your villain is a nasty brute doesn’t illustrate what a great writer you are–it doesn’t make us scared and terrified. A couple of comparable titles would be absolutely fantastic. Also, you say in The Book section that it’s a love story, but I can’t find the love story in The Pitch. In terms of your “About Me” section, better to tell us what you have accomplished than what you have not. A couple of cool things you’ve done in life that would indicate you have the skills, dedication, perseverance, savvy and overall excellence necessary to be a best-selling author would be great.