The Perfect Game
by Leslie Dana Kirby
Lauren Rose has recently moved to Phoenix to begin a new life as she starts a prestigious emergency medicine residency, but she may end up doing life in the Arizona State penitentiary instead.
Lauren has always lived in the shadow of her more glamorous sister, the wife of baseball superstar Jake Wakefield. But when her sister is found brutally murdered, the spotlight turns on her: as prime suspect in the high-profile investigation.
Jake’s support proves invaluable as Lauren navigates the nightmare her life has become. As Lauren and Jake comfort one another, they succumb to an intimacy forged by their shared grief. When detectives arrive at Lauren’s workplace with an arrest warrant, she anticipates her own humiliating perp walk. She is devastated when Jake is hauled away in handcuffs instead.
Lauren is fully prepared to go to bat to defend Jake. There’s just one problem:
Jake’s entire defense strategy is to pin the crime on Lauren.
I am a practicing prison psychologist, long intrigued by the intersection of charm and psychopathy, illustrated by countless headlines in which men have strange ways of honoring their vows of “until death do us part.”
The Perfect Game is a 110,000 word legal thriller.
Arielle: Ooh! What a captivating pitch. The first paragraph sets up the book very nicely. The twist of the romance with the brother-in-law convinced me that the book, itself, will be full of nice twists and turns. And the information about who you are convinced me that you have the chops to make these characters real and complex. My main beef here is that I really don’t get who Lauren is at all. What’s her personality? What makes her tick?
David: I have to agree with my lovely and talented colleague/partner/mother of my child, this is a top drawer pitch. We always ask, what are the stakes? What are the consequences? Where’s the tension? You answer all these questions beautifully in the very first paragraph. Our heroine was supposed to be relocating to have a new meaningful life, but instead she’s going to end up staring prison in the face. I like the love story, how Lauren ends up with her sister’s ex-husband, her brother-in-law. And how he turns on her. I also really like your finishing paragraph, which makes us believe, because of your expertise, that you’re going to take us down some fascinating psychological alleyways we haven’t been down before, and you’re gonna do it based on your experience of seeing this in real life. And who isn’t intrigued by the intersection of charm and psychopathy? I keep saying this, but I think a short, brilliant, physical description of Lauren (and Jake) would help us see her (and him) in the eye of our mind. And like my lovely and talented co-book-Dr./wife/agent, I also don’t quite get a feeling for who she is either. Maybe if you had something more about why she wants to be in emergency medicine, what her relationship is to her sister, this would help us become more emotionally engaged with her.