Stella
Death’s Disciple Book One: White Stripe, Dark Deeds by Stella
Recipe
Ingredients
One lethal bitch of an assassin.
One Rhodes scholar, charter boat deckhand.
One black, inner city, teenage boy with an effed up ‘tude.
Boil
The assassin is immortal and possessed.
The deckhand is a disowned New Orleans good ol’ boy. And hot.
The inner city black kid is really a time traveling young black woman.
Simmer
The assassin doesn’t want friends, attachments, or liabilities.
The deckhand has combat skills and one hell of an education.
The inner city time traveler wants to be immortal. And she wants to kill anyone who pisses her off.
Which is damned near everyone.
Serve
The assassin’s 2,000 year old soon-to-be-ex lover.
A eunuch who wants to castrate the inner city, time traveling woman.
And, oh yeah, the deckhand digs the assassin.
And she digs him back. But doesn’t want to.
But can’t help it. But hates it.
You get the drift—but she’d consider doing him.
Garnish
A sex trafficking charter boat.
A Middle Eastern harem quarters.
Houston’s steamy docks.
Arielle & David: Love the way this is put together like a recipe. We have seen approximately 1,000,000,000 pitches, and we have never ever seen anything like this. There’s just so much competition, and so few slots available, anything you can do that makes you stand out, if you do it in a compelling, fascinating and skillful way is going to set you apart from the herd. It makes us think that you are smart, imaginative, outside-the-box writer. Your pitch, as unorthodox as it is, made us really want to read your book. What can be improved? Well, we don’t really get a sense of the plot twists and turns, how the characters change, those kinds of things. It’s hard to get a sense of the arc through the recipe vehicle. We hate to sound like a broken record, but a couple of comparable titles would be great, especially since the pitch is so unconventional. Also, there wasn’t quite enough of a climax. Maybe you should add Desert? After dinner cocktails?
William Simon
March 5, 2013 @ 5:50 pm
What a great idea!
Meb Bryant
March 5, 2013 @ 7:49 pm
Love this recipe.
Julie Sell
March 5, 2013 @ 8:18 pm
Wonderful presentation! Love it!! Excited to read your book!
Stella
March 6, 2013 @ 4:32 pm
Dessert and after dinner cocktails! Now why didn’t I think of that! I’ll have to revise.
Truthfully, it was an honor to be selected. An very humbling and eye opening honor. I took a chance. I’m glad it didn’t fall flat.
stella
admin
March 8, 2013 @ 5:59 pm
So glad you sent your pitch in, Stella. It’s a true original!
Melissa
March 7, 2013 @ 5:28 am
Wow! I’d pick this one up in a heartbeat! Very clever pitch!
Arya's Sapphire
March 9, 2013 @ 6:56 am
I disagree with The Book Doctors. I am your average reader and the way this Pitch is set up turned me off almost instantly. I also didn’t feel like there was enough info. with this. It’s too vague. I think it needs to be a bit lengthier and normally written. And I must say, this sounds like a very strange story! Not really my cup of tea.
Stella
March 9, 2013 @ 8:38 pm
Thanks for inspiring me to wrap up this story, Book Doctors! I’m excited to tweak and submit it to my publisher.
Best wishes with your future Pitchapalooza efforts.
And good luck to all the contestants! Well done! 🙂