Texas Book Festival Runner-Up Alisha Gabriel on the Pitchapalooza Experience
One of the highlights of the day was attending Pitchapalooza with Arielle Eckstut and David Henry Sterry. The blurb in the festival schedule says they “are co-founders of The Book Doctors, a company dedicated to helping authors get their books published. They are also co-authors of The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published: How To Write It, Sell It, and Market It… Successfully. ”
Randomly selected audience members were given one minute to pitch their books and then received feedback about it. The panelists were nice about it, too, and gave every single person good advice. Guess what? I was randomly selected! It was scary, but exciting. My nonfiction book, Catgut and Toenails: A Guide to Musical Instruments, was met with enthusiasm and helpful comments for improvement, as well as ways to successfully market myself and the book. Every panelist chimed in, which was inspiring.
As I made my way back to my seat, a tween sitting nearby whispered, “I’d read your book!” It made my day.
The Book Doctors Do Bi-Coastal Pitchapaloozas in 24 Hours
2 Pitchapaloozas in 24 hours. 3,000 miles apart. They said it couldn’t be done. They were wrong.
It all started on a beautiful Virginia Saturday afternoon at the James River Writers Conference, in the shockingly excellent city of Richmond. JRWC came into our lives as the result of brutal failure. Two years ago I set up a DC area mini-tour for an infamous book I put together. My girl Shawna Kenney (whose memoir I Was a Teenage Dominatrix–which is about when she was a teenage dominatrix) was just optioned by Vince Vaughn) booked us into Poets & Busboys in Washington (packed to the rafters!), Atomic Books in Baltimore (filled to the gills!), and Chop Suey in Richmond. When Shawna and I walked into Chop Suey, there were exactly 0 customers in the store. There were
about 15 folding chairs. None of them had audience asses in them. Just as we were ready to call it a day, in walked a couple of brave souls who looked like they actually wanted to be there. One of them was a colleague and dear friend of Shawna Kenney named Valley Haggard. A ridiculously intimate show like that can actually be liberating, because let’s face it, since there are only four people, it really doesn’t matter, and you can just let loose. So I actually had an ecstatic rhapsodic performing experiences. This is one of the reasons I do it. Afterwards, Shawna and I went out with Valley Ha
ggard. First of all, is that not the greatest name ever? Valley Haggard. Born to be an author. Or a country singer. Second of all, she was so smart, and funny, and generous, and goofy. At a certain point she told me she was part of a writing group: The James River Writers. I told her about Pitchapalooza and BOOM! Next thing you knew, we were on a beautiful Virginia Saturday afternoon about to unleash Pitchapalooza on Richmond. Beautiful old buildings, a rabid writing community, and the sheer NICENESS of the people make it a go-to destination. And I am not being paid by the Richmond Visitors Bureau to say that. Although if they did want to pay me, I would certainly take their money. One of the cool things about doing a writer’s festival is that you get to actually hang out with lots of pretty spectacular authors and writers. Plus, I did about a dozen seven-minute consultations.
It’s shocking how fast get to know someone in seven minutes. So it was fun to see all these people that we had connoitered with, filling the auditorium. By the time we started it was pretty much full, 150 writers and those who love them waiting in breathless anticipation. We had a very funny and savvy panelist, Michelle Brower, from the Folio Literary Management. As we do at every Pitchapalooza, we heard many crackerjack pitches. A middle-age dragon (Michelle said that a menopausal dragon would be hysterical, and in doing so brought the house down). I Do, I Did, I Don’t, a novel about a society where marriages have to be renewed every 10 years. Dystopian apocalypses, literary opusi, zombies, werewolves, vampires and hard-boiled dicks. But our winner was a cut above. He’s a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, where he worked very closely with trained military dogs. Dogs of war. His novel, Boots on the Ground, Paws on the Ground, about soldiers battling in life and death circumstances, and their relationships with these brave, loyal, and extraordinary canines brought Arielle to tears. In 1 minute. Plus, his man’s-man lantern jaw, buff hulking hunky humble manner, and his AWESOME story made him an absolute crowd favorite. Hurt Locker meets Rin Tin Tin, it just seemed to have bestseller written all over it. And it was just one of many pitches that screamed: BOOK!
As soon as Pitchapalooza Richmond was done, and I had said heartfelt thanks to my new Richmond peeps, I whipped back to the hotel, grabbed my baggage, got the kind of hug only a four-year-old can give from Olive, kissed Arielle a fond adieu, and was whisked away to the airport. It was a mad blast to have Olive with us, but we had decided she would go back with Arielle on the train, while I would fly solo to San Francisco, and do Pitchapalooza in San Francisco all by myself.
Having been awakened that morning at 7 AM by Olive begging me to play Biting Piggy (a game we made up about a month ago), I stumbled, mumbled, bumbled and numbled my way off the plane at 1 AM (4 AM EST!), feeling like someone had inserted nozzles into my ear holes and blown cotton candy into my skull. Red-rimmed pupils, baggage under my eyes bigger than the suitcase I was lugging, guts rumbling from too much bad trail mix and caffeine, I shuffled through the disorientating post-midnight fluorescence of SFO. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve heard too many zombie pitches lately, but being in an airport in the wee, wee hours will totally make you believe in zombies. As I threw myself into bed at 2 AM (5 AM EST!) I felt the sting of a tickle catch in my throat. A cough barked out of me. Followed by another cough. Then another. I could actually feel a flu bug attacking my larynx. HACK! HACK! HACK! Knowing that the thing I needed most in the world was a good deep night’s sleep, I tossed and coughed through a miserable night’s stupor. In my fevered dreams, zombies were pitching me books about werewolves, vampires, hard-boiled dicks, and yes, zombies. All while eating chunks of my flesh. It’s so depressing when you get out of bed in the morning, and you’re more exhausted than when you got in the night before.
Lead-headed, wheezing and sneezing, I coughed my way out the door. Luckily it was a rare robin-egg-blue sky day in Baghdad-by-the Bay, and a brisk but toasty breeze blowing lifted my spirits. Once I got to North Beach, I found, to my surprise and delight, that the massive annual street fair was raging. Columbus Avenue shut down, tables four deep set up on sidewalks outside restaurants, revelers and tourists and looky-loos cramjampacked in one of my favorite neighborhoods in the world, where Old Italian cannoli/espresso/gelato culture rubs elbows (and many other body parts) with drunken scruffy post-Beat writer types who scribble away in notebooks.
The fair was madness, in the best sense of the word. A WWII-type float with Andrews Sisters-look-alikes singing Roll Out the Barrel; a high-stepping marching band from Oakland rocking their synchronized syncopation; Chinese slow-motion tai chi masters; kilted-up bag piping bad boys; American flag flying, Harley hog-riders; wild west cowboys on a high-stepping horses, and cowgirls decked out in sparkly costumes that looked like a cross between Dale Evans and Liberace. It made me so happy to be alive.
I made my way to the Vesuvio’s, where I was going to be doing a reading for Litquake, the seismographic orgy of books that blows up San Francisco every October. For those of you who don’t know, Vesuvio’s is right across the alley from City Lights Bookstore, the beating heart and pulsating brain of San Francisco literati for 50 years. Everyone from Dylan Thomas to Lenny Bruce to Jack Kerouac have gotten polluted, plastered and plonkied while waxing poetic at Vesuvio’s. I felt a great wave of history as I walked in, an overpowering sense of honor, humility, and gratitude to be reading at this shrine where so many great writers have drunk until they passed out. The readers performed from the second floor balcony, looking down as if from Mount Olympus on the pulsating, hooch-fueled throng, shoehorned in wall-to-wall, cheek-by-jowl, the body heat wafting upwards, a crackling electromagneticity rocketing around the room, and ricocheting off those hallowed walls, which have seen so much literary history made over the years. I was up first, and my adrenal glands were spitting fire, my central nervous system all jacked up, while my heart felt like a hare being chased by the hounds. The din of the crowd was so loud it sounded like someone had turned the volume up to 11. I was worried that they wouldn’t shut up and listen to me. I underestimated the power of MC extraordinaire Mr. Alan Black, master of the pregnant pause and the growling punchline, a man who made his bones running shows at the Edinburgh Castle, where the Tenderloin sits like a festering sore on the bum of San Francisco. Like a lion tamer who uses a Scottish brogue and slashing wit as his whip and chair to control a room full of wild beasts, he subdued the crowd in 1.2 seconds. I love that feeling of a tightly packed mass of humanity waiting silently for the performer to try and conjure magic out of thin air. I took a deep breath, relished the moment, and plunged in. It was such a joy riding those words in that crowd through my story. Ridiculously gratifying.
Sadly I had to bolt as soon as I was finished, so I missed the show, and as I strolled back down Columbus Avenue toward the Pyramid Building, the adrenaline speed wore off and I was struck dumb by a numbing wave of exhaustipation. I had quite forgotten how depleted and drained my battery was, and I worried I’d have to call AAA to jumpstart me before Pitchapalooza Litquake, which was set to start in 20 min. Caffeine! my brain screamed. I collapsed into Starbucks. I coughed. I hacked. I wheezed. I drank. I made it to Market Street, rejuvenated, just in time to find the organizers starting to seriously worry that I wasn’t going to show up. It was my great good fortune to have two publishing stalwarts, Sam Barry and Kathi Kamen Goldmark (Write That Book Already!) as my copilots. They arrived like the cavalry providing reinforcement for my battle weary troops. And we were off! A meta-post-modern novel about a writer battling his own book. A rich girl getting back at her bad dad. A juicy, gossipy guide to the London Olympics. An Australian graphic novel about fast food workers who are actually crime fighters: fries and spies! Dystopian apocalypses, literary opusi, zombies, werewolves, vampires and hard-boiled dicks. But again, the winner was a cut above: a hysterically told tale set in Liverpool, where soccer is a combination of religious obsession and drunken life-and-death spectacle, and a woman finds she can predict the outcome of matches before they happen. Madcap antics ensue.
Suddenly it was over. I staggered in a stupor out onto Market Street, wrung out like a ragged rag, but wildly satisfied. That night I collapsed into bed moaning and groaning, wracked by hacking spasms. Slept for 12 hours. Next night I slept 12 more. When I awoke, the bug, the tickle, the hack and cough were miraculously gone. I’m on the plane going back to my Jersey hearth and home. Happily anticipating the kind of kiss only a four-year-old can give from Olive, and snuggling into my own bed with my lovely and talented wife.
To see all pictures click here.
Genn Albin’s Story of How She Got a Six-Figure, 3-Book Deal After Winning Pitchapalooza: Part 4
Our fabulous Kansas City Pitchapalooza winner, Genn Albin, gives us part 3 of 4 of her journey to a six-figure deal for her YA dystopian fantasy novel, Crewel:
I was an agented writer. Now it was time to whip the manuscript into shape and outline the sequels. Mollie and I worked like fiends for three weeks, passing revisions back and forth and discussing submission strategies. During that time a sneak peek to one editor turned into a pre-empt offer. We kept working on revisions and opted to submit to a list of editors on the Friday before Memorial Day. On Tuesday we got our second offer with a choice of editors at the house. I took four phone calls that day to discuss editorial and marketing strategies. The next day we had two more, and a fifth offer came in on Thursday. That afternoon my agent asked for everyone to submit best offers and marketing plans.
Once again I found myself torn between two amazing choices. I knew I couldn’t go wrong either way, but by the end of Thursday a final offer and an amazing marketing plan landed in my email. As soon as I saw it, I knew my choice was made. Not only did I have an enthusiastic editor offering, her enthusiasm was shared by her whole imprint.
My agent suggested I sleep on it to be sure and I spoke to her early in the morning to let her know I was sure. On Friday, June 3rd, exactly one month since my first meeting with Mollie, she sold my book in a three book deal to Farrar, Straus, and Giroux. I was going to be a published author!
As soon as I had the official announcements, I emailed it to Arielle and David. I can’t share what David said because it’s not PG enough for a blog post, but, suffice it to say, they were ecstatic.
So that’s my wild ride, and what did I learn from it? A lot of people think this business is about luck, but I believe we make our own luck. It can be scary to tae chances and put your work out there, but there are so many opportunities if you’re just willing to take a chance. I could have left my name out of the box at Pitchapalooza. I could have given up on getting my query into the live event. I could have chosen an agent who wanted to run spell check and submit. Those would have been the easy choices. But I was tired of dipping my toes in the water, so I jumped in the pool. And what do you know? I can swim.
15-year-old Pitchapalooza Winner Helen Armstrong delivers a Jaw Dropping Pitch
2nd ANNUAL LITQUAKE PITCHAPALOOZA OCT 9, 5pm Variety Preview Room
Pitchapalooza comes back To San Francisco for the 2nd annual Litquakepalooza. The lovely and talented Sam Barry & Kathi Kamen Goldmark, authors of Write That Book Already, will be joining us once again. Last year’s winner, Nura Maznavi got a book deal from Soft Skull Press with her partner, Ayesha Mattu, after her amazing pitch rocked the house.
“We came to Pitchapalooza with an idea and six months later we got a book deal with a prominent publisher. We simply couldn’t have done this without this opportunity and without David and Arielle. We had been working on this project for several years, on our own, and struggling without any guidance. We were really discouraged by the entire process. Winning Pitchapalooza, and working with these two, really helped us focus and renew our enthusiasm in the project. And now we’re going to be published authors!”—Nura Maznavi and Ayesha Mattu
WHAT: Pitchapalooza is American Idol for books (only without Simon). Twenty writers will be selected at random to pitch their book. Each writer gets one minute—and only one minute! In the last month, three writers have gotten publishing deals as a result of participating in Pitchapalooza.
WHO: Arielle Eckstut and David Henry Sterry are co-founders of The Book Doctors, a company dedicated to helping authors get their books published. They are also co-authors of The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published: How To Write It, Sell It, and Market It… Successfully (Workman, 2010). Arielle Eckstut has been a literary agent for 18 years at The Levine Greenberg Literary Agency. She is also the author of seven books and the co-founder of the iconic brand, LittleMissMatched. David Henry Sterry is the best-selling author of 12 books, on a wide variety of subject including memoir, sports, YA fiction and reference. They have taught their workshop on how to get published everywhere from Stanford University to Smith College. They have appeared everywhere from The New York Times to NPR’s Morning Edition to USA Today.
HOW: At Pitchapalooza, judges will help you improve your pitch, not tell you how bad it is. Judges critique everything from idea to style to potential in the marketplace and much, much more. Authors come away with concrete advice as well as a greater understanding of the ins and outs of the publishing industry. Whether potential authors pitch themselves, or simply listen to trained professionals critique each presentation, Pitchapalooza is educational and entertaining for one and all. From Miami to Portland, from LA to NYC, and many stops along the way, Pitchapaloozas have consistently drawn standing-room-only crowds, press and blog coverage, and the kind of bookstore buzz reserved for celebrity authors.
PRIZE: At the end of Pitchapalooza, the judges will pick a winner. The winner receives an introduction to an agent or publisher appropriate for his/her book.
PRICE OF ADMISSION: To sign up to pitch, you must purchase a copy of The Essential Guide To Getting Your Book Published. Anyone who buys a copy of receives a FREE 20 minute consultation, a $100 value. If you don’t want to pitch, the event is FREE.
WHEN: Oct. 9, 5PM-6:30PM,
WHERE: Variety Preview Room, 582 Market St, SF
New York Times article: http://tinyurl.com/3tkp4gl.
Pitchapalooza mini movie: http://tinyurl.com/3jr8zte.
Pitchapalooza on NBC: http://thebookdoctors.com/the-book-doctors-pitchapalooza-on-nbc-television
Here’s what people are saying about The Essential Guide To Getting Your Book Published:
“I started with nothing but an idea, and then I bought this book. Soon I had an A-list agent, a near six-figure advance, and multiple TV deals in the works. Buy it and memorize it. This little tome is the quiet secret of rockstar authors.”—New York Times best-selling author Timothy Ferris, The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich,
15 Year Old Pitchapalooza Winner Helen Armstrong on Pitching in Chester County
As I fell asleep the night before Pitchapalooza, I told myself not to be nervous. I decided that one of three things would happen: 1) I would go and I wouldn’t get to pitch. 2) I would go and I would pitch and I would lose. 3) I would go and I would pitch and I would win. I then told myself that there was no way number 3 would happen, so it was really just down to 1 and 2. I decided that there was a large possibility that number 2 wouldn’t happen, either, because only 20 or 25 people would get to pitch. So I resigned myself to the fact that I would probably end up sitting there listening to 20 other people pitch, chin resting on my hands, applauding after every one, and then leaving as the same person I was when I walked in.
I had written my pitch earlier that day. It had taken about five minutes. I used my iPod to time myself saying it once or twice, to make sure it was under a minute. It was. So I printed it out and went back to what I’d been doing before – writing fanfiction.
It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested or excited to pitch – it was that I didn’t want to let myself anticipate anything but losing. I realized that a fifteen-year-old writing what was really like an anthology of short stories was an unlikely win. I figured I would get up to the podium, do my pitch, and if I got through it without majorly screwing anything up – which was definitely a concern of mine – the judges would just say things like, “Well, it’s a good idea, but…” or “There really isn’t a market for an anthology of short stories right now.”
I didn’t want to expect to win because I really didn’t think I would. It was like when I went to Disney World when I was 10 and was anticipating the single best week of my life, and it just really didn’t live up to my very high expectations. How could it?
I was trying to protect myself.
In the car on the way to the book store, my parents asked me to read my pitch. I get nauseous if I read or write things in the car, so I agreed to read it once and then stop. I did, and of course my parents had all sorts of suggestions. My mom handed me a pen and told me what she thought I should change. So, stomach growing ever more uncertain, I changed a few of the things she suggested but disregarded some of her suggestions. I added some things that I thought would work better, and re-worded some sentences.
One of my biggest pet peeves with my mom editing my work is when she tries to tell me exactly what to do. She makes suggestions and then tells me exactly how I should re-write it. I hate that. I don’t feel proud of myself if she does this, because it technically wasn’t me who wrote it – it was her. And I’m terrified that someone will say, “Oh, the best part was this!” and that this was something my mom wrote.
I realize this’ll be an issue where editors are concerned, but I’m just trying to live in a fantasy about that for right now, so let me be.
The pitch that I presented was almost completely written in the car. I kept the main structure of what I’d written the day before, but I changed most of it. I didn’t even read through the final thing because I was afraid I might barf if I didn’t look out the window.
I’ve been in plays before, I’ve gotten up on stage and read things in front of tons of people, I’ve given presentations in class, et cetera. Each and every time I’ve done this, I’ve freaked out. I don’t like presenting things. I’m always terrified that I’m going to throw up or faint in front of everyone and embarrass myself thoroughly.
Yet I make myself do it. In some situations I don’t have an option – like the time in eighth grade where I had to present a power point on House Slaves in the 19th century in front of 100 people. That was truly terrifying and I would’ve paid money not to have to do it. In other situations, though, it’s a choice that I make – I like doing plays because I meet a lot of great people in them.
And Pitchapalooza I chose to do because if I want to be a writer, I have to get used to talking about my books in front of lots of people.
Today I watched the livestream of the red carpet at the London premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. J.K. Rowling stood on stage in front of thousands of people in Trafalgar Square and millions around the world, and she talked about the whole Harry Potter experience and all that.
So I figure I have to have practice for when I’m standing in front of millions of people worldwide at the premiere for the eight movie made about my books.
Also I have to put myself out there if I ever want to get to Trafalgar Square. Baby steps.
When my name was called to get on deck for presenting my pitch, I was surprised but forced myself to just stand up and walk over to the book case next to the podium and wait for the woman before me to finish her pitch. I had my paper in my hands, with things written across other things, sentences crossed out, arrows directing me where to read. It was all wrinkled and I was afraid it looked unprofessional.
I looked at a book on the book case which had a lovely picture of a really nice, sleek modern house in the middle of the woods that reminded me of Edward Cullen’s house in the Twilight movies. If I was still a Twihard, that would’ve gotten me so psyched up and ready to go that it’s almost embarrassing to admit.
I stepped up to the podium when it was my turn and everyone was looking at me. I set my paper down because I absolutely hate when people are standing up in front of people and they seem perfectly calm in their face and voice, but you can see the paper in their hands shaking and you can tell they’re nervous.
I avoid that at all costs.
I read my pitch, inwardly freaking out and hoping that no one could tell. Everyone was looking at me and I was afraid that they were judging me or were mad at me; like, ‘How come this fifteen year old girl can get up and pitch her stupid book when I’ve worked for 30 years on my book? She probably wrote it only 6 months ago.’ Which would be true. And yeah – how dare I? Shouldn’t I just give up my place and let someone older and more mature and wiser and better than me present their pitch?
I should probably just go home to my fanfiction.
I was truly shocked that the judges had such good feedback for me – they actually liked my idea and thought it would have a good market! I could barely even understand what they were saying, because by the time they got to one sentence I was still processing the sentence before, thinking, ‘What?!?!’
It’s a good thing my dad was videotaping it so I could go home and watch it over and over again so I could actually hear and try to comprehend what the judges had to say.
As I walked back to my seat, people were smiling at me. I couldn’t figure out if they were smiles like, ‘Oh she’s such a cute kid!’ or if they were more like ‘Wow, that was a very nice pitch!’ Or maybe they were like, ‘I’m going to smile at her so she won’t realize that I’m cursing her out on the inside for taking my well-deserved spot.’
I got back to my seat and my parents were smiling at me. I was smiling, too, so unbelievably relieved that I hadn’t gotten the reaction I’d expected. The rest of the event passed in a blur; I tried to figure out if I actually had a chance or not and I’ll admit, I thought I did. I didn’t want to think this, because I didn’t want to set myself up for disappointment, but sometimes I can’t help it.
When the winners were announced, I was freaking out again. I do a lot of that – but I’m a fifteen year old girl – it’s in the job description. (Incidentally, there is a lot of freaking out done in my book by fifteen year old girls.)
There was a tie. Apparently, the two winners had such drastically different ideas that they couldn’t pick.
I really, sincerely hoped that the first name they announced, if it wasn’t mine, was drastically different from my book.
It was. It was about financial scams and stuff I don’t fully understand.
And then…
They announced my name
I stood up and grinned and everyone cheered and I tried to figure out if I should sit down again. I looked at the other guy who had won and he was sitting down, so I sat down too.
And then I realized that I had won.
Number 3 out of the 3 possibilities was the least likely! It was the one that I’d told myself wouldn’t happen.
And it did.
The next 15 minutes were all smiles and ‘thank you’s and handshakes and more ‘thank you’s. I just hoped they weren’t all secretly plotting my murder for winning when they didn’t.
To be honest, I felt kind of bad. Lots of these people had spent their whole lives working on these books, and I’ve spent my whole life writing mediocre stories on pieces of paper that I stapled together and presented proudly to my parents, declaring that they were books. When I learned to type, I wrote hundreds of beginnings of stories on the old mammoth computer in the study. It took me a few years to ever write something that I actually finished. When I learned about fanfiction, I got an account on fanfiction.net and wrote a lot of it.
Fanfiction was actually how I grew as a writer. My first fanfiction is complete and utter crap and I wish no one had ever read it. But as time goes on, I can look through my computer and my profile on fanfiction.net and see the evolution of my writing. I can see that the view counts go up on my stories, and the review number on my most recent fanfiction, which is 50,337 words is 201.
So clearly I’ve come far from those stapled ‘books.’
But I never imagined that by the age of 15 complete strangers would be looking me in the eye and telling me that they ‘knew I would win.’
That just completely threw me for a loop.
So at this point, anything could happen.
I just really hope that Trafalgar Square thing is part of ‘anything.’
Podcast of Public Radio Interview with The Book Doctors
—David Henry Sterry
Of course you can! That’s sort of the point, isn’t it? Even the authors of books intended to help other authors get published, an Escherian concept if ever there was one, need to get publicity, and a phone interview offers a fine alternative. Assuming the interviewer has the gear at home, then everyone can get what politicians like to call the maximum “bang for the buck.” Nobody has to leave home and nobody has to even, in theory, get dressed. Let’s presume, however, for the duration of this article, that everyone was indeed dressed. I might note that there is a bit in the book on getting interviewed, and it is not unhelpful.
Eckstutt and Sterry have a pretty full plate these days. They both have separate literary careers (she’s an agent, he’s a writer), they have a website together, that is The Book Doctors (and what a nice linker I am, eh?), and they have these events, which I’ve heard about for a while — Pitchapalooza, wherein the would-be’s line up at the gate and have a minute to pitch their book. It’s speed dating for writers and agents, and while it is perhaps a dangerous precedent, it also gets results. People who have attended get signed.
I talked to the writers-about-writers about their book, their websites and their live show. To me it just makes perfect sense; by offering a platform for writers to hone their pitching skills, they are doing the best possible job of pitching their own skills. You can hear just how good they are by following this link to the MP3 audio file.
The Swiss Army Knife for Books: The Essential Guide to Getting your Book Published Reviewed by Rick Kieffel
a lovely interview by a really interesting guy writes about books
07-27-11: Arielle Eckstutt and David Henry Sterry write ‘The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published: How to Write It, Sell It, and Market It . . . Successfully!’
Swiss Army Knife for Would-Be Writers
I’m a skeptic so far as how-to write books go. Those who want to write will, and those who don’t, won’t. It’s not rocket science. Moreover, the effort required to read a book about how to write generally exceeds the threshold of actually writing something. But once you’ve actually written something that you want somebody else to read, some kind of guidebook can actually be helpful, particularly if you’ve spent more time writing your book than surfing the Internet looking for the means to publicize it.
Arielle Eckstutt and David Henry Sterry call themselves “The Book Doctors,” and if you have been surfing instead of writing, then chances are you have happened across their site. You can now help justify their investment in that site with an investment in your own writing, that is ‘The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published: How to Write It, Sell It, and Market It . . . Successfully’ (Workman ; November 4, 2011 ; $15.95). It will not write your book for you. It will not sell your book for you. But it will not waste your time, either.
“The Guide,” as I shall henceforth call it, covers pretty much everything with regards to writing and selling a book, and these days, that’s a lot. It’s divided into three parts; “Setting Up Shop,” “Taking Care of Business” and “Getting the Word Out.” Chances are that you won’t need to consult the whole shebang, but also that you’ll be able to find the parts you do need and read them without getting frustrated. Moreover, there are lots of Internet-oriented pointers and recommendations in here that are as up-to-date as can be, since the publishing world has been turned upside-down in the last ten years.
What this translates to is lots of useful, readable and ultimately usable information to help otherwise harried writers wrap their brains around …. I just can’t make myself type that phrase, but you know what I’m talking about, the standardized services that we use instead of email and website hosting. More and more, writers are being told, even famous writers, by New York publishers, that this is a swamp into which they must wade. Consider this book your first set of waders. Good luck! Be sure to shower afterwards. (I do.)
But once you’ve washed your hands of Internet publicity, Eckstutt and Sterry give you some step-by-step advice with regards to bringing your book and your self to the public. Eckstutt was an agent, which lends some street cred to her advice regarding agents. Sterry has twelve books under his belt, and that lends credence to his writing advice, which is engagingly sparse and to the point. There’s no happy wappy here. There are sharp edges that will perhaps inspire you to quit the whole enterprise, and if that happens, you got your money’s worth. But you can also get a few sharp edges yourself when you read this book. They may even help you get your book published.
The critical piece of the puzzle is this; “The Guide” is pretty entertaining even, and perhaps, especially, if you don’t have any intention of becoming an instant celebrity. The advice you find in here can be applied to a wide variety of occupations, whether you’re a plumber or a graphic designer. If you’re a writer, of course, it’s all directly applicable. Look, the chances are in this environment that you won’t succeed. “The Guide” at least gives you the tools to spend a conscionable amount of time mitigating the certainty of failure. And in spite of what every grammarian in the universe will tell you, sometimes a double negative is the best score you can possibly get.
The Book Doctors on TV with Pitchapalooza
this is from our epic Pitchapalooza @ Anderson’s just outside of Chicago, in Naperville.
How a Writer Gets Published, Part 1
I’ve been studying the relentlessly ridiculous publishing business for a decade. I wrote a book about it called The Essential Guide to Getting Your Book Published (product placement). I’ve come to the conclusion that there are four basic principles involved in getting successfully published: 1) Research, 2) Network, 3) Writing, 4) Perseverance.
In the last 10 years I’ve also written 12 books that have been published; everyone from corporate giants like HarperCollins, Random House and Penguin, to incredible independents like Soft Skull, Canongate and Workman. I’ve been on bestseller lists. My books have been translated into a dozen languages. So lots of talented amateur writers I work with just assume that anything I write will automatically get published. But because the publishing business has contracted, and I’ve written books in so many different categories, and I don’t have one agent or publisher I work with time after time, and some of the books I write aren’t for a mainstream audience, I still have to apply all the principles listed above to get my books published.
I have six manuscripts that are burning a hole in the pocket of my computer. A ghost story (The Valley of Love and Delight: A Ghost Story); an experimental novel (Mort Morte); an anthology filled with writing from a severely underrepresented and beat down demographic (Johns, Marx, Tricks and Chickenhawks: Professionals Writing About Their Clients); a young adult novel about asthma (Breathless in Flat Rock); a kid’s picture book (The Boy Who Cried Wolf); a collection of poetry by some of the greatest poets in the world, specifically designed for kids to say out loud (The 100 Greatest Poems for Kids to Say Out Loud); and a collection of shorts. Since I have already applied principle #3, these books have been written. It never ceases to amaze me how many people tell me they want to be writers, but they haven’t actually finished writing a book. There’s a very good chance that several if not all of my manuscripts will have to be rewritten a grotesque number of times. In fact one of them is with an editor even as we speak; someone I’m paying to tell me why my book sucks. I’m going to put my money where my mouth is, and hope my foot doesn’t end up there.
I’m going to get these books published, or have an aneurysm trying. Every week or so, I’m going to introduce one of my manuscripts, and explain the daily steps I’ve taken to accomplish my goal.
The Valley of Love and Delight: A Ghost Story. I’ve been working on this novel for almost four years. I’ve done 42 drafts so far. A dozen of my writer friends have already read the book and told me why they thought it sucked. I’ve already paid two editors to tell me what parts they thought sucked. Once again illustrating the often-neglected notion that you have to keep rewriting and rewriting and rewriting until you get it right. I see so many manuscripts by talented amateurs that are just so obviously not as good as they could be. It’s like inviting someone over to your house for a piece of cake, and serving them something that’s half-baked. All gloopy and goopy and melty and horrible.
#1: Writing. About a month ago an agent I queried expressed interest in representing the book. I got to her because I relentlessly pursued a famous writer she represents, trying to get him to do a Twitter interview with me. After five tweets, he finally consented. When I approached his agent, she was very receptive because I had interviewed her client.
#2: Networking. She and her fabulous assistant had some ideas about how I might make it more suck-free. So I spent a month feverishly rewriting the book. Then I got a 15-year-old reader to read it. It was shocking and slightly horrifying how many times she was able to pinpoint exact moments where the book had a gigantic amount of suckage. A smart teenage reader is worth his/her weight in plutonium.
#4: Persistence. I just got the manuscript back from an amazing editor who the agent recommended. She’s the one I’m currently paying to tell me why my book sucks. Today I got back her notes. They were edifying, horrifying, brilliant and maddening. Even though she said lots of nice things about the book, it’s clear there is much much work yet to be done. I have serious psychological problem because I want everything to be finished NOW. It’s a severe difficulty to overcome when you’re writing a novel. I also suffer from post dramatic stress disorder, so I immediately plunged into the darkest blackness. All I could see in the editor’s notes were everything that was wrong, everything that sucked, all my failings and shortcomings. But I am stepping back from my emotions, using the techniques I’ve developed over these decades to avoid plummeting down into a shame spiral. I’m using this to learn how to be more patient artist. And now I will go back to the grindstone and put my nose to it with some elbow grease. And remind myself how much I love working on this book. Here’s the pitch, which I’ve also been working on for four years:
The Valley of Love & Delight: A Ghost Story
Finn is being haunted by two ghosts. Only one of them is in his head..
Finn Hart is 16. He comes home from a party and finds his mother dead in his bed with a 94 page suicide note by her head. Since his father disappeared almost before conception, Finn is now an orphan. He’s shipped off to boarding school housed in buildings made by the Shakers, a religious sect in the 1800’s. The Shakers are famous for two things. 1) They made exquisite furniture. 2) They didn’t believe in sex. There are no more Shakers. Finn’s first night at school, after everyone’s asleep, he hears a baby whimpering and crying. The crying turns into wailing, and it’s so unbearable Finn feel like he wants to die. But no matter how hard he looks he can’t find a baby. When he wakes up his aristobrat roommate, the baby’s wailing stops. When Finn finally falls asleep, he dreams he’s an orphan being adopted by the Shakers in the same buildings. Only it’s 1850 and the buildings are brand-new.
Finn lives two sleep-deprived lives. One at boarding school where a cool new headmistress creates a culture of abstinence, and he tries to overcome the death of his mother, who haunts him daily. In his dreams Finn tries to live a simple hard-working Shaker life, where sex is the road to burning for eternity in hell with Satan. In both worlds Finn falls madly in love. And gets both girls pregnant.
Finn’s mind deteriorates until he can’t tell the difference between dream and reality, natural and supernatural, now and then. The only things he knows for sure are that he’s madly in love with two girls, neither of whom he’s allowed to so much as kiss. And that it’s somehow up to him to help the baby who wails in his room at night, and trying to kill him in the woods during the day. When Finn gets expelled by the suddenly-not-so-cool Headmisstress, he has to fight for his life in court, with the horrors of Juvenile Detention breathing hot down his neck. And somehow liberate the ghost of the Shaker baby.
This fantasy Young Adult novel centers around the hot button topic of sexual repression and teenage pregnancy combined with a supernatural horror element revolving around one of the most bizarre religious cults in history, the Shakers.
David Henry Sterry is the author of 12 books, the latest of which was featured on the cover of the Sunday New York Times Book Review. “Eye-opening, astonishing, brutally honest and frequently funny… unpretentious and riveting — but also graphic, politically incorrect… and that rare ability to tell the truth.” This is his debut novel.
“Imagine Stephen King writing Catcher in the Rye. It’s that rare beast, a truly literary page turner.”-Tamim Ansary, best-selling author of East of New York, West of Kabul
At 16 I was exiled to a boarding school in the Berkshire Mountains that was housed in buildings built by the Shakers. When I was at boarding school, they remodeled one of the old Shaker buildings. Buried inside the wall they found the skeleton of a baby. A chill froze my soul cold. This is the book I wrote in honor of the Shaker Baby. – David Henry Sterry