Eva Lesko Natiello
The Memory Box
by Eva Lesko Natiello
The gossipmonger moms in upscale Farhaven, NJ, Google everyone they know and compare hits. Caroline Thompson, at-home mom of eight-year-olds, becomes their laughingstock−her name appears only three times. Caroline avoids their pettiness−shrugs it off. Then realizes something they don’t know: her maiden name. She Googles Caroline Spencer and the hits cascade like a tsunami. There’s one problem: Caroline reads disturbing, unspeakable things about her past but doesn’t remember any of it. How’s that possible? Her eyes inadvertently lock onto an obituary. For her sister. But JD’s not dead. Caroline just spoke to her. Recently. Didn’t she?
Probing for clarity reveals darker truths. Could someone be one step ahead of her? Caroline’s paranoia ousts common sense. She can’t confide in anyone, lest she lose everything.
Caroline contacts Dr. Sullivan, the gentle psychologist who once counseled her. He agrees to play old taped transcripts of their sessions, warning they may be unsettling.
When Caroline pieces together the shocking clues, she must decide her fate.
The impetus for The Memory Box, a psychological suspense, came from a New York Times article about a California teen who, by Googling himself, learned he was a victim of parental abduction.
Be careful what you search for.
Arielle: Love, love, love the idea for this book. So of-the-moment. And I get a nice feel for your voice. There is a bit of a disconnect for me between the first few sentences and the rest of the pitch. Like a previous pitch, the voice starts off feeling very women’s fiction-y, and then takes a turn into a psychological thriller. I would think about how to set this up from the beginning with an ominous tone. The last sentence is terrific! A great read line for the book.
David: This is a championship caliber idea. I love how you’ve taken something so new and yet prevalent, self-Googling (sounds slightly rude doesn’t it?), and made it the center of your suspenseful and psychological story. I love the title. The Memory Box. I also think it’s fun that you put in the real-life impetus for the story. Usually I don’t like that. Who cares where the idea came from? But this intrigued me, and demonstrated its social relevance. I also love the tagline at the end. Be careful what you search for. But some of it still feels very generic. “Probing for clarity reveals darker truths.” That’s so unspecific. Of course, you don’t want to reveal too much in a story like this. But a couple of word pictures would be very helpful here, and go along way toward further establishing your bona fide as a writer. And there’s something awkward about this sentence: “Then realizes something they don’t know: her maiden name.” It’s not like she didn’t realize she had a maiden name. She always knew her own maiden name. I know what you mean, it’s just awkwardly written. But I really love this story. The way you use repressed memory and Google. Quite brilliant.
Terese Guerriero
March 5, 2012 @ 8:22 pm
I just Googled “Eva Lesko Natiello” and found a screenplay…
😉
michael natiello
March 5, 2012 @ 9:55 pm
This sounds like a killer idea.
Eva Lesko Natiello
March 6, 2012 @ 7:31 am
Thank you Arielle and David for your generosity of spirit and advice. I’ve already taken it to heart (and to paper) and have finessed my pitch – so thank you. Love “self-Googler”! Made me think of a “self-ogler” which funny enough, is a character in my current novel. Love the Pitchapalooza, crazy fun. And the other pitches, fabulous creativity here.
admin
March 6, 2012 @ 7:41 am
You’re very welcome, Eva!
Peggy Ryan
March 6, 2012 @ 7:44 am
Sounds like a plot whose time has come. A ‘must read’ for sure!
Peggy Natiello
Sue Ann Butera
March 6, 2012 @ 7:53 am
I agree with Arielle’s comment. I’m a little confused through the first few lines, but then I get it. From past conversations, I love how you tell a story and am always surprised by the ‘psychological thriller’ aspect you create. I would definitely buy any book you write!
Bernadette Kelly
March 6, 2012 @ 8:34 am
Eva, I Love this and cannot wait till you are published!
Diane
March 6, 2012 @ 9:02 am
I wish I had more to read now! Brilliant. The Memory Box is destined to be enjoyed by many.
Ann Ormsby
March 6, 2012 @ 9:19 am
Where can I buy a copy?
Susan Temkin
March 6, 2012 @ 9:26 am
Ms. Natiello’s book was well written and loaded with intrigue. I have told many friends, who hope to read it in the future. Would love to have it for my bookclub.
Susan Temkin
Mary Ryan
March 6, 2012 @ 9:36 am
Loved your pitch. Memory Box sounds intriguing. You’ve got my vote. Bun
Mary Ryan
March 6, 2012 @ 9:39 am
You go girl! Sounds dynamite. It gets my vote!
Rita Riccardi
March 6, 2012 @ 4:52 pm
Memory Box sounds intriguing! Looking forward to reading it Eva
dawn farella
March 6, 2012 @ 5:33 pm
Love the idea. Can’t wait to read The Memory Box. Very original. Love the anticipated twist!!!!
Dawn
Vicki
March 6, 2012 @ 9:21 pm
Love it!!! I can’t wait to read this. Soon I hope:-)
Emma Schwartz
March 6, 2012 @ 11:16 pm
Brilliant Eva! Well done. ‘Memory Box’ is truly a book waiting to be published.
Emma
Karen
March 7, 2012 @ 2:28 am
What a tease! I want to read more!!I hope Memory Box gets published soon.
Marie Glassman
March 7, 2012 @ 7:07 am
Good luck Eva – you have my vote!
Lillie Bryen
March 7, 2012 @ 9:39 am
Just when you think everyone seems so “normal”……..makes me question everyone around me…anything is possible, maybe nothing is quite what it seems. Hooray for Ms. Natiello for finding a modern twist on the psyschological thriller. And I can tell from her writing style that each page will be a joy to read. I want the full book – ASAP.
Lisa Luzzi
March 7, 2012 @ 12:15 pm
I likey your pitch. Makes me want to read more!
Sharon Campbell
March 7, 2012 @ 7:39 pm
What a fabulous idea – can’t wait to read it!
Chloe Bryen
March 8, 2012 @ 6:07 pm
I hope I can read this soon- it sounds so interesting, I just want to know more!
Julie
March 9, 2012 @ 11:03 am
I am already in suspense…I want to read more!!!!
Courtney
March 10, 2012 @ 11:08 am
This looks like a really good book, and I am going to vote for it. I read all of the other reviews and only one other caught my eye, but not as much as this one. I want to know more about it, is her sister really dead? What was in her past that she found out about? Is the girl she thought was her sister an imposter? I really want to know more about this book, but I want to read it. So, if you have read it, or if you wrote it, please don’s answer any of my questions. Sorry I asked them. Now I am confusing myself. But, what I wanted to say was that this book looks really good and I hope it wins. Everyone else seems to like it too. I liked your comments, Arielle and David, and this was a very interesting idea for a book. When I google my name, tons of stuff comes up, but none of it is for me, so I understand what this lady must feel like when they are all making fun of her. I wish people wouldn’t google themselves, because you could learn something terrible, like Caroline or that sixteen year old boy this was based on did. Would you want to know that you were kidnapped, especially if you found out through the internet instead of from the person who kidnapped you (especially if it was your own parent.) I had fun reading these reviews and some of the books looked like things I might want to read. Bye!! I love your website, by the way. Just as an afterthought, where could I buy these books?
Fred McD
March 10, 2012 @ 12:03 pm
This sounds very interesting. It immediately captures your attention. What happened and why? Look forward to the whole truth.
Nicholas Lesko
March 11, 2012 @ 4:51 pm
I can tell a winning piece when I read one. Aunt Eva, I mean Mrs. Natiello, you got this hands down!
Vivian
March 12, 2012 @ 7:57 am
Clever concept! The power of memories is a fascinating subject matter for a novel — with
the added twist of placing Google in a supporting role as a plot element.
Kristine Zimmermann
March 12, 2012 @ 8:35 am
Can’t wait to read it!
Rita Marino
March 12, 2012 @ 3:41 pm
Unbelievable idea! I can’t wait to read it.
Sheri Dursin
March 14, 2012 @ 12:44 pm
This definitely sounds like a book I would read. You do a great job building suspense in your pitch. Well done!
Michelle Stimpson
March 14, 2012 @ 6:25 pm
Thank you for your kind words on my pitch! I really like yours, too! I really like the line about the inspiration for the book. It made me want to read it all the more. Good luck to you!
Greg K
March 14, 2012 @ 8:45 pm
Totally sounds intriguing. That last line is a total hook!
K.gabriel
July 5, 2014 @ 6:35 am
Sounds great can.t wait to read…you go girl!! Xoxo