After the Jump
by Adrianne Russell
I’m Kelly Landers, seventeen and counting. My family moves around a lot. Six times in six years a lot. But for reasons too mortifying to mention, this time I’m happy to say buh-bye to my old life.
Daddy’s ruthless ambition gene has him moneyed enough to put me in private school. That same birth defect makes him insist I hang with his new boss’ kids. Sounds peachy but there’s a few problems: They hate each other’s guts, Bryce reminds me of the guys I left behind in all the worst ways and Cara’s boyfriend is sending serious signals that I can’t ignore.
So let’s recap: Uniforms, forced friends and way too many temptations. Great.
And topping off that screwed-up sundae? Once again, Mama thinks eating is optional. Once again, Daddy’s burying his head in blueprints. Once again, I’m Queen of Damage Control.
I’m trying to be different.
I’m trying to slow down.
I’m trying to start over.
I’m trying to make up for my mistakes.
Too bad life’s saying, “Screw that.”
AFTER THE JUMP (70,000 words) is a contemporary YA novel that explores what happens when the past you’re trying to forget crashes into the future you’re desperate to create.
Arielle: You have a clear, interesting, developed voice that shows me you know how to write. In fact, what interested me most about this pitch was the voice. Now I think you need to work on the story part of the pitch. This feels more like the first few paragraphs of the book itself, rather than showing off the arc of the book itself.
David: I very much like the voice of this pitch. We always tell people, your pitch has to completely reflect the style and language of your book. And you really convinced me that you can write from the perspective of a teenager. Normally I don’t recommend the whole pitch in the first person. But you totally pull it off. And I like this idea of the kid who has to be the adult. The way those last five sentences are all spread out over their own lines. But this triangle that you develop early on between our heroine and the new boss’ kids doesn’t really go anywhere. It’s a very cool start, but it’s not developed sufficiently. Again, I don’t get the sense of beginning, middle and end.