The Law Around These Parts by August Samuel Evrard
There is a planet out there that nobody wants to own. It’s been conquered, terraformed, deterraformed, exodused, colonized, armageddoned, recolonized, reterraformed, invaded again, turned into a prison, liberated, invaded again, become a drug factory, become a refugee camp, invaded again, and finally given up on. Oxygen’s not that valuable. This planet has a galactic registration, but everyone just calls it the Hole: home to drug kingpins, terrorists, mad scientists, corporate lenders, warmongers, weapons manufactors, and far, far too many refugees. Paid gangs police apocalyptic city streets while interstellar mercenaries wage politely secret wars and government agents help move the drugs that everyone wants, but won’t admit to using. Many have tried to own the land, to send their own police, even to turn the surface to black glass. Each has failed.
Harima Martina Lunch is a Detroit cop with a past. She’s been fired, rehired, shot, stabbed, broken, rebuilt, blown up, fired, rehired, sentenced to death, pardoned, fired, rehired, celebrated as a hero, burned, blown up again, and convicted of most crimes on the book. (But those last ones were all when she was a minor. That record’s sealed.) It’s not until she plays a crooked politician at his own game that she loses, and bad.
You can probably begin to guess where this is going.
One woman is sent to plant the flag, and make sure it stays waving. If it stays for ten years, she’s free to go.
Sheriff Lunch is:
The Law Around These Parts.
The Book Doctors:
We can tell from this pitch that you are a good writer. We love that first list. It’s wonderful! And you give us a real sense of location. Love the nickname of the planet: the Hole. It also has a very interesting Total Recall, Philip K Dick thing going for it, which we like. But look at how long it takes in the pitch to get to our heroine? She’s terrific once we get to her, but she needs to be moved up. You can still use everything you have beforehand, but the two can be folded together. We also couldn’t quite guess where this was going or what the plot is. This pitch centers pretty much on premise only. Most pitches (at least those intended for agents and editors) need to take us at least halfway through the book, and often two-thirds of the way through.